Bountiful Beauty Abounds

I'm talking about the beginning of berry season. This warm season makes it so much easier to eat fresh produce in very large quantities. I had my first taste of fresh fava beans a few weeks ago and they were so delicious, I could not stop with the "mmmmmm"s. I've been eating strawberries pretty much every day, since they started smelling like strawberries again, and I'm eagerly awaiting my first tomato sandwich of the season.

'Tis the season when weight loss tends to happen, whether you choose to lose weight or not. That is, unless you don't like fresh fruits and vegetables, in which case I have to ask, "Are you mad?!?"

Health At Every Size

A recent article called "Goodbye Scale, Hello Health", about a program that focuses on whole body health, while taking the focus away from what size you are.

Personal Trainer

I met with a personal trainer for the first time, last week. It was a free orientation offered by Anytime Fitness and I jumped at the chance to get some advice about a good fitness routine. She was great. Totally non-judgmental and wanted to support my goals, not the goals she thought I should have. I would recommend her to anyone who wants an encouraging and gentle approach to personal training.

I used to think I wanted (or needed) a kick-in-the-butt approach, but in learning more about myself, I know that that kind of approach makes my rebellious side kick in hard. In my mind, I'd be telling that kind of trainer to shut up, instead of appreciating her for attempting to push me past what I think I can do. I don't do well with a hard sell. I tend to mentally stick my fingers in my ears and hum the birthday song, while walking away.

I tried to keep an open mind, but was half expecting her to say it would be best to sign up for more sessions, because I'm clearly not capable of following any kind of routine on my own. To my very pleasant surprise, she didn't do that. In fact, when I asked about more sessions at the end of the orientation, she said I should try it on my own for awhile, get the hang of it, and then if I felt I needed more instruction, give her a call. Wonderful!

At the end of the session, she wrote down everything we worked on and handed me the sheet along with a letter explaining her philosophy about personal training. In that letter, she gave a wonderful explanation of how she believes that most people have already beaten themselves up enough, before coming to her, so she didn't need to make them feel any worse. So true! She also went on to give a simple explanation of the power of the mind and drawing on the life force energy to help us achieve our goals. I really like that she incorporated spirituality in a neutral way. I appreciate spirituality, but again, a hard sell towards any particular religion will instantly put my mental fingers in my mental ears.

She also didn't mention one single word about how she thought anyone should eat. She did ask me how I felt about my eating, in the beginning of my orientation, but then dropped the subject completely after I told her. She didn't react in any way that might be considered negative or judgmental, when I said my eating was "okay". As in her letter, she knew that I had judged myself enough and she didn't feel the need to judge me any further.

It was a great, uplifting experience in every way.

Peace Is This Moment, Without Judgment

I've been listening to the IMCW: Tara Brach podcasts on iTunes and really enjoying them. She teaches insight meditation and is the author of Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha.

The podcast I chose to listen to today was called "Golfing With Monkeys". It's about how to not take life so personally and that suffering comes from being angry that things are not the way we want them to be. I felt this would be especially good for intuitive eating, because if I can learn to observe moments, it will be much more beneficial than reacting to them (with food).

One particular point that struck me was a quote she read from Dorothy S. Hunt:

"Do you think peace requires an end to war? Or tigers eating only vegetables? Does peace require the absence from your boss, your spouse, yourself? Do you think peace will come some other place than here? Some other time than now? In some other heart than yours?

Peace is this moment, without judgment, that is all. This moment, in the heart space, where everything that is, is welcome. Peace is this moment, without thinking it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans."

Not judging situations is going to take some practice. (deep inhale...deep exhale)

If you don't have iTunes, some of Tara's Dharma Talks can be found here.

Stress Eating

Yesterday, I had a scary incident where I was trapped in an elevator for a little while. The abrupt stop and loud noise scared me more than anything else. Second to that was the fear that my son would be home in less than an hour and I worried that the bus driver wouldn't know where I was, if I didn't get out in time. I did make it out in time and two nice maintenance guys helped me carry my son up the stairs, but the stress of that short experience left me with an unexpected side-effect.

I could not stop eating, last night.

I should have done the tapping exercise or listened to the Emotional Eating CD, but I didn't. I could have journaled about my stress, but I didn't. And today, I'm kicking myself for not doing those things that make so much sense. I don't know why I failed to expect that that situation might cause some stress. I underestimated just how much stress it could cause.

Logically, it really shouldn't have had that much effect. I am fine and was in no real danger, nor was my son. But stress isn't logical. It can sneak up on you and subtly pick at you, telling your body that you are in danger, when you're not. For emotional eaters, it only takes a little bit of stress to make us think we need the "comfort" of an over-full belly, even though there's not much comfort in feeling so stuffed, we can't stand to have our pants on anymore.

This is where the tools can become so important. The journaling, the tapping, the relaxation techniques, etc. The key is to remember that they're there! To bypass that habitual urge to grab a cookie or a bag of chips, when we're not really hungry. To instead do the things that will offer real help, without the bloated belly remorse.

I Threw Away My Scale

It felt really good. I realized that even weighing myself once a week was changing my mood. I needed to be free of that, so I could focus on what my body tells me from the inside. Listening to outside influences, like a bathroom scale or a diet, has a nasty way of muffling what a person's body is saying. Those outside influences can also be very harsh. Getting rid of the scale provides just another step towards clarity. I realize now that, for me, the scale was a distraction. It didn't tell me what was really going on. It just made me feel either bad or good, depending on the little flash of numbers. It could take me from hopeful to disappointed in a matter of seconds. Now, instead of a number on a machine, that was not even accurate, I can listen to me.

The Four Golden Rules

I'm trying a new way of intuitive eating, with only four "rules", instead of ten. It's not any easier, but it's less complicated. I bought the book I Can Make You Thin by Paul McKenna and the rules are from that book. The book also comes with a hypnosis CD that I was reluctant to try, but it actually works. I feel more in control around food than I did when I was just trying to do this on my own. It worked so well, I bought four more of his CDs, Overcoming Emotional Eating, Exercise Made Easy, Programme Your Mind to Slim Your Body, and Craving Buster. I've listened to the emotional eating one and the exercise one, each one time. I can't tell if it's made a difference yet, but the first CD that came with the book didn't seem to help until I'd listened to it a few times, so I'll keep trying.

I have to say, this intuitive eating stuff is hard. Not hard enough to go back to dieting, but there are times when I know I'm full, but I don't want to be! So I whine and moan to myself about how good the food is and it's not fair that I should stop eating it, just because I'm full. The tapping technique in McKenna's book is very helpful, in those situations. Another big surprise, to me. I really doubted that it would work, but it does. I feel like an idiot while doing it, but if it can help me stop overeating, it's worth the minor humiliation (even though no one is looking or cares to look.)

Another thing I'm determined to do is exercise regularly. After more than two weeks of having a nasty cough, which prevented me from exercising, because I simply couldn't breathe, I'm finally able to get back to it. More and more I keep hearing that that's the real key to being slim, while eating whatever you like. Not overeating what you like, but savoring your favorite foods, instead of begrudgingly eating foods you hate, in the name of being skinny.